i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
