Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
