Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
