I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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