I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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