Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You can't just leave with hair like that
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
