Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
