Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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