Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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