I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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