she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
