After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
