Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
