well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
