Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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