just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
