she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
