i think my tv is drunk
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
