I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
