The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
