You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
