Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Found the puke drawer
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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