Well apparently he's into motor boating.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
