yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
