Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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