some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
