He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
