Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
