Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
