...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
