another moral hangover. fuck.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
