Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
