Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
