im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
