I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
