you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You left your phone here
Wait...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
