I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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