He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
