this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
