After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
