that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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