Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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