??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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