but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
