Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
