waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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