If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's shark week go big or go home
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
