This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
