what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
