it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
COCAINE IS GR8
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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